F*** Me Sideways or The Top 10 Things Mitt Romney Could Do to Make Us Forget About His Fundraiser Speech

My head is still twisting and neck still spinning from the dumbest f****** thing a Presidential candidate could be caught saying on video. David Corn and Mother Jones have pulled off a mucktastic scoop, the likes of which has not been seen since George Allen's disquisition on ethnic tolerance.

Dear reader I, for one, have an almost ghoulish desire to see what the f*** else Romney said after those comments. Fortunately for us (me), Christmas has come early and I am sure Corn, who has promised more excerpts to come from the Romney Tapes, is playing the showman, leaving the best for last. This has to be the warm up. What I am willing to hazard, from a purely clinical examination of objective political circumstances, is a Top Ten List of Things Mitt Romney may have done or said, that could exceed and make the world forget his comments about Obama voters. So I present to you, The Top Ten Things Mitt Romney Could Do or Say to Make Us Forget About His Fundraiser Speech.

  
10) Mitt Romney, blackens up and dances to Al Jolson songs as the fund raiser attendees, throw bags of gold dust at him.

9) Mitt Romney, unzips his skin like a Men in Black character and reveals his true persona, Rich Uncle Pennybags, from Monopoly.

8) Mitt Romney, receives faux fellatio from an on the skids descendant of FDR.

7) Mitt Romney, demonstrates the American entrepreneurial spirit by selling bottles of poor people's tears, at mark up, for use as a skin cleanser.

6) Mitt Romney, does a dramatization of The Grapes of Wrath, in the style of a Punch and Judy show.

5)  Mitt Romney, promises once elected, the nation's motto will change to  "In Mammon We Trust".

4)  Mitt Romney, randomly selects an audience member to role play in a little S&M drama titled, "The Rod of Fiscal Discipline".

3) For $10,000 per contestant Mitt Romney organizes a competitive game of "Robert Reich Tossing".

 2) Mitt Romney will read from his private collection of stories, The Big Book of Self Pity: Stories of Moral Turpitude Among the Lower Classes

1) (What we all assume) Mitt Romney will bathe in the blood of left wing bloggers while chanting the million words for "money" in the ancient languages of the Cthonic gods.

                                                              (Money Green Cthulu)